Living out of Suitcases
we’re here to go…
and I’m ready for it. I felt like I could have jumped in front of a speeding ambulance today. Exhaustion has taken its toll on me. By this time next week I’ll be in Boston. I’m so excited! although, I still don’t have a place to live. It can be quite daunting, standing on the edge of an entirely new life with: no idea what this new place is like: no where to live: no one to call on or talk to. I can manage. I always do.
Meanwhile, of course, there are last minute responsibilities to tend to, back here in the old life. I spent a couple hours hanging out with old friends, some of whom, I wonder, will I ever see them again, others, I wonder - do I want to?
Most of what I own is in storage now. I’ll live out of two suitcases for several months. I can manage. I have before. I will again.
I’ve got thirty pages to write tonight, a stack of bills to pay, an exam to take, more packing for storage, a loan to apply for, a thesis to correct and turn in after the last minute, a work-study job to manage the completion of. all in a day, all in a day. it can’t be done all in a day. some of it, I wonder, can it be done at all.
It is likely a breech of etiquette to write this way here, but I need to do it for my health, and also to record this strange place. I have the feeling I will want to look back on it and laugh at how it all turned out, however it turns out.
I knew it was time to go several days ago. I attended the “Roast” for the Senior theater students, and was roasted mercilessly. I realized something, the person they described… that’s not me. perhaps it never was, or it was only ever a perception, but I have the distinct impression that all of that is about to change. Perhaps it will help to be a stranger, an alien again.
Not sure when I can write again. It may be a week or two.
I’m off…
[Now Playing: Garbage - So Like A Rose (06:20)]
Tags: Journal